Men

Robert Redford and Paul Newman, from "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"

The Subject is Decorating (sorry ladies)

In my humble experience, straight men can't decorate. And they don't care. But if they do, it involves leather, heavy wood beams, electronic things, cigar humidors (and/or wine fridges), hockey jerseys, Wild West paraphernalia, beer coasters and plenty of dark colours.

This look might work in a TV room, but isn't so appealing in, say, the bedroom. Or anywhere else really. What baffles me is that men can be genuises - launching space ships to the moon, deciphering tax laws, removing brain tumors- but they can't understand taupe. Words like pinch-pleat, faux bois, and finial will never enter their vocabulary. If you're lucky, your man understands words like wainscot and beadboard, as a minimum. Carpentry somehow makes vague sense to them.

Good Enough

You'd think this lack of male decorating savvy would make life easier for us decorating goddesses. Well, it doesn't. What I've learned is that even if they don't have taste, men are destined to thwart any suggestion that you do. My darling partner has excellent taste (praise the Lord). He appreciates craftsmanship. He likes historical and old-fashioned things. Luckily, these qualities can be leveraged to my advantage in our home. He also isn't about waste and excess, and these values coincide with mine too. However, what he does suffer from is Good Enough syndrome.

Me: What do you think about replacing the mouldings and trim with something nicer?
Him: Why?
Me: Because they're ugly. They look, um, cheap.
Him: They're Good Enough.
Me: But that's what people do - they UPGRADE their homes. They make them beautiful!
Him (staring at me like I have two heads): You are so vain.

My partner, really, is very supportive of my decorating dramas, but I secretly think that occasionally he sees me as a horrible materialist simply because I want to replace the ugly, cheap, generic baseboards in our house. Or get rid of his itchy old sofa.

Many things in our home are deemed Good Enough. And since I am a proud and modest woman with good taste but an aversion to wanton consumerism, I kind of sometimes agree with him. Gradually, the longer I look at it, everything in the house is becoming Good Enough. This is foiling many big decorating plans...

Ugly

Men always have ugly stuff they like to leave sitting around. Stuff that doesn't match the decor. Now, I do not believe in hiding all evidence of human life from my house, but I do find the following things offensive/ugly/best hidden:

1). Antlers. Even if you found them lying on the forest floor.
2). 300 year old shoes that simply MUST sit at the front door.
3). Bar towels and coasters. Oh, and shot glasses.
4). Spare vehicles (crumbling, rusted). Especially when parked out front.
5). Sporting equipment left hanging to dry around the house.
6). Black furniture from bachelor days. Includes leather sofas.

Still Good

I think this one is self-explanatory. It involves things that are quite likely Ugly and possibly broken but Still Good.

1). Furniture your buddy gave you back in 1985.
2). Electronics that came over on the Ark (this VCR is Still Good).
3). Tennis rackets with holes in the strings, board games with pieces missing, and Readers Digest collections from 1983 and 84 are Still Good.

You get the picture.

Will Do It

I know some women who suffer with men who promise they Will Do It, something, but never do. Many women are fortunate to have a handy man who takes direction, has great ideas, and works diligently to make his home beautiful. These are Blessed Women who should procreate readily with these men to increase their dominance in the gene pool.

However, for every one man who is handy and ambitious, there are 400 who promise they Will Do It when they have time. The reality is, these men don't enjoy shoveling, cleaning the eavestroughs, moving that pile of rusty junk, or fixing that creaky step any more than we do. But we expect them to because, well, they are men. I think this one is our problem. But don't tell me you Will Do It if, in all honesty, you Never Plan To.

Exceptions

Of course there are exceptions. I love my partner and wouldn't trade him for the world. He is a phenomenal cook, ambitious and reliable, takes great care of the yard, does laundry, does many chores and is learning how to do fixer-upper stuff around the house. He is almost perfect except for that nagging bit about everything being Good Enough that I want to change. He is practical and sane. But he just doesn't get my Posh Country Estate decorating tastes.

I'm sure your guy is perfect too, except for that nagging bit about....

Melin Tregwynt

Melin Tregwynt fabric for Birkenstocks!

I know I'm overdue for my post about men and decorating (and other stereotypes I'm hungry to unleash), but I had to share this link.

Melin Tregwynt is a lovely company from Wales that runs a textile mill where amazing blankets and throws, clothing and accesories, and all sorts of wonderful woven items are crafted. Since I'm of Welsh descent, I like to promote the homeland wherever possible. And since Anthony Hopkins and Tom Jones are busy, I will stand in as rep for Wales to say YAY for this wholesome little cottage industry....

Missing You

I'm taking a wee blogging hiatus this week. A house guest arrives tomorrow...a lovely young lady who happens to have been my dearest friend in high school, as far as I remember anyway. I haven't seen her in eons, so we have so much catching up (and hopefully shopping) to do!

Later this week, or on the weekend, I plan to post my deepest and most salacious thoughts on the subject of MEN. Sadly, it won't be my generally omniscient thoughts about men, but rather thoughts about the men in our lives in the context of decorating! Do you share mutually impeccable tastes? Or does their Star Wars collection drive you stark-raving mad? How do you cope with their taste in your Master Plan for Global Decorating Domination?

Of course, this assumes there is a man in your life, but if not, then insert the name of whomsoever might be the object of your affection (assuming you live with them), or your sticky-fingered children, or your mother-in-law ("you chose that colour?"), or your hairy stinky dog, or anyone else who thwarts your creative process.

In fact, I may pass the torch after writing about men and invite someone to write about how their darling children absolutely destroy any hope they might've had of leading a sophisticated life. Or dogs - how they fill your home with love, but also doggie smells and poop/pee/fleas/worms/stuff dragged in from outside. Oh, and destroy your leather goods. There is an explanation for shabby chic and it is...pets.

As soon as I can, Terri

P.S. In the meantime, check out the oh-so-talented Melissa's delightful post about *Sight*, one of the 5 senses to consider when creating your smashingly lovely dream home!

Pink Vignettes

Some pink things from my basement powder room (which I moved into the light to photograph). The tiny pottery vase was my first gift to David, who likes to hike and pick wild flowers. The photograph is one of my own, of flowers in a stream.

I often felt like a tomboy growing up, but yet I always loved clothes and decorating my bedroom. As I got older, I was a girly girl in denial, I think, probably because I was the smartest kid in my class and came to see girlishness as a weakness. It was better to be studious and serious and independent and capable (and well-dressed...luckily that was permitted) but not good to be too much of a girly girl because, well, girls acted dumb and gossiped and liked flaky things and didn't have much expected of them.

People took you seriously if you were serious and liked serious things...if you excelled in math and chemistry and the hard stuff, if you read books and didn't chase the boys (much) and weren't "easy". It was better to be independent and capable and good at important things, and well, sort of a tomboy.

It took me a long time to realize that it's okay to be a girl, to be a little bit of everything and everyone. Luckily times have changed and girls can change their tires and tile their bathrooms, and boys can be great cooks and have opinions about curtains. Thank heaven I realized that it is okay to be girly and like (stereotypical) girl things, to love clothes and obsess about decorating, to admire and lust over *pretty* things, to spend train rides home from the office dreaming about which colour blue really is the best...

There is always an internal conflict because I am an engineer - I have a serious job darn it, and I work entirely with men - serious men who talk about the stock market, the price of oil, strife in the Middle East, and where to get your transmission fixed. When I even broach the subject of my frivolous pastimes, I am greeted with consternation. We might have a discussion about paint, but it is never about colour, god forbid. Colours are for girls! Let's talk about cutting in, which width of tape is the best, where to get a good deal on rollers. You know - technical details!

It is hard to be "myself" in this environment, still, but if I've learned one thing in the past decade...it is to Be Yourself always...to try to be true in word and deed to your values, and to who you really are.

Most importantly, it helps to surround yourself with people who love and accept you for who you are, foibles and all, to find a community where you fit. Over a year ago, I started a headache blog - to find a community where I fit. No one around me, in my physical reality, understood my internal daily Hell. That blog transformed the way I looked at myself and my headaches. I wasn't alone. I wasn't some alien. With the purchase of our house, that blog changed to its current incarnation, as a decor blog.

I love this little blog world, where I can share all my often-silly, girlish whims, and where lovely, sweet, smart women write to encourage and inspire me. I have been blown away by these amazing women I keep discovering, the talented writers and artists and do-ers. These are the women I have been missing, the women I was afraid to be, who I realize are stronger and more amazing and more capable and funny and positively perfect than I ever imagined girls could be!


And on that note, some photos of pink things...I love pink and it is no longer a girly fault to say so! Say hello to pink...

An interesting painted vase (David asked me why they only painted half...he is such a boy), sitting atop a lovely hand-woven runner from Massachusetts (from a store in Victoria, BC called "New England Square"). Note the chintz curtains which came with the house - the previous owner had impeccable, but very traditional tastes!In the powder room, where these objects belong (but where the light is o-so-drab). The paint is Grey Wisp, from Benjamin Moore. The B&W photograph is by an accomplised professional photographer friend, Paul Stack.

My dining room. The traditional pink wool rug was purchased for a song from the previous owners. Our furniture is turn-of-the-century Canadian walnut, with serious pink and blue striped fabric (as bought)! The mirror is a Stickley (Mission). The lamp is reproduction Art Deco, one of my few prized possessions. The wacky hot pink wreath was $7 at a discount store. This whole room will be redecorated eventually...

Recent Acquisitions (with revised photos)

Doukhobor antique fruit-gathering basket, 1915 (willow) from "On A Lark", a phenomenal shop in the neighboring town of Okotoks

Arts & Crafts - inspired Pottery Barn bedside lamp (mica shade), which works with my Mission bed frame...

I've posted only a few photos of the inside of our house since we moved in 8 months ago. Mostly, that's because it's a veritable war zone (er, work in progress) and the moving-in phase isn't really finished yet. None of the rooms seem remotely "done". It takes heaps of time to consolidate two people's lives, move objects around to various rooms to see where they feel right, to acquire the myriad missing elements, and to slowly formulate lofty plans for each room. Plus, I am all about "feel" in a space, and letting things settle in...

But the reality is that nothing will really be "done" for a while, in the decorator sense. As you may have surmised from my recent posts, I prefer a rustic, natural style that is slowly-acquired, slowly accumulated, not too "decorator-ish". It takes a while to build such a space, (if I can even do it). And interesting objects can't be bought en masse from a catalog.

So while we take our time to piece this home together, I thought I'd share a couple of the little items we've recently acquired. In the next couple of months I will post more "inside" photos of our rooms and share my plans and progress. Do stay posted!

Metal art for our garden (tree with birds) from a shop in Black Diamond, a mountain town (sorry for the low light - the evening sun has passed!)

Paper flowers for my wee bathroom, from a craft shop

Bird magnets by Cavallini & Co. which I plan to frame. These are from "Honey B's", a vintage shop in Kensington

Restful ~ Graceful ~ Tranquil spaces

As I peruse decorating magazines and stacks (literally) of decorating books from the library, I find my eye seeking out the same sorts of images time and again. My eye (and my heart, it seems) always settles on quietly peaceful rooms, spaces that are slightly spare, rooms containing plenty of white (okay, a lot of white), beds and sofas and whole rooms that look calm and restful and inviting. I fall in love, over and over again, with these soft, milky white colours, these soft blues and greys, pale taupes, any colours really with a lot of white or grey in them.

And being a texture fanatic, I like rustic nubby things and soft wooly things and fluffy pretty things that make you want to reach into the page and...touch!

Perhaps because I *a d o r e* sleeping (and resting) so much, I seek out rooms that seem to invite you in to take a nap, or better yet... just lay there in a space so quietly beautiful you don't want to close your eyes.

And I don't like rooms that look "done" by a decorator, so I find myself staring lustily at rooms that look like they are lived in by handsome, graceful people, maybe a pair of well-travelled academics with a taste for botany, books, old world handicrafts, eclectic art, the road less travelled. Their rooms are accumulated, not "bought", put together from a life well-lived, filled with a tastefully-edited collection of good quality things, interesting found things, adored things...










All images from Living Etc. except for top photo (khaki bedroom) courtesy of Shoot Factory.

Creating A Home

Since moving to our new house in December, I've quickly compiled a "To Buy" list as long as my arm. The "To Do" list isn't much shorter. Every day, it seems we need more *new* things than you can shake a stick at.

We need rugs for various rooms since the house has mostly hardwood floors. I love wool rugs, but they can be crazy expensive and I can't seem to find any that are "just right".

We need furniture for rooms that never existed in our former apartment-dwelling lives, including spare bedrooms, a large family room, a proper home office, a laundry room! Who knew finding a great old-fashioned laundry basket could be such work?

We've consolidated our furniture collections. Some of it is amazing and some of it is junk! Some things need a coat of paint to rejuvenate them, and to help fit them in with other pieces, but in many cases, there are gaps that just need filled with something *new* (to us) and wonderful!

We need mirrors, more art(!), new picture frames. We have blankets and bedding as old as the hills, and need some good-quality replacements. I have hunted all of Calgary for a nice tablecloth and have resigned myself to Williams-Sonoma's prices. Isn't she a beauty?
The long list of cosmetic work makes my head spin. All the light fixtures but one need replaced. Traditional window coverings left by the previous owners need changed, and several rooms still must be painted, single-handedly by me, as I struggle with my ever-fickle heart as it tries to settle on a colour scheme that reflects how truly rare and amazing I am! Is there a colour for that? Yes, it is called Perfection and it doesn't exist. Okay, "Silver Sage" by Restoration Hardware, as Linda showcased on her "Restyled Home" blog, is close to perfect!

Have we discussed brass? There are brass kitchen knobs (50 in total!) to replace, ugly brass light fixtures to remove (and destroy). And did I mention that all the switchplates, register covers, and door knobs in the entire house are brass? Those all need changed, now!!!

Architecturally, I simply must replace all the trim work in the house, as well as upgrading all the doors and their knobs. I want to remove the popcorn ceiling. Yes, we have a popcorn infestation. And floral wallpaper borders in the master bath are killing me softly.

In the furniture department, we need to replace David's old sofa and chair in the family room. I need office furniture (and did I mention, a new iMac?), a spare bed for the small guest bedroom, a new bed frame for the large spare bed (see iron bed frame above). I want a new console table for the living room (not this one, but isn't it hotel chic?!)We need a new armchair for the living room too, and new draperies, did I mention? And I want to re-upholster my brand new sofa! Ok, so I will work around it...
But I do have several chairs that will be re-upholstered, either because they are flea-market finds that I left for just such an occasion, or because they simply clash in my new colour scheme daydreams. I have 12 turn-of-the-century dining room chairs that need their pink and green pinstripes (as bought) replaced.

Did I mention we need lamps?

The list IS endless and we're only at the beginning.

I've always loved home decor, but living in small spaces and frequently moving cities (five in 10 or so years), I managed to restrict myself to a small collection of good-quality furniture and a small-ish collection of flea-market finds for the day when I would have an actual honest-to-goodness home. I have tons of small objects trouves (found objects), and a nice little art collection, but it all needs to be slowly coordinated with David's things, edited, and so on.

This takes time! Shopping time! Rumination time! And sadly, I must go to the office at least 40 hours per week, and spend another 10h per week commuting, which cuts dramatically into my decorating time.

Deciding where to spend my money has been my pastime for the last 7 months. I've finally visited most of the hip and cool and many uncool design stores in Calgary. I've been to the upscale ones, the downscale ones, the antique stores, the boutiques, and the flea markets. I've found the fabrics and the upholsterers and even a lovely decorator who gives me free counsel when I drop by her store. Now, it's time to start spending, to start putting it all together.


I am both excited and terrified....