Tuesday, January 01, 2013

My Head

Happy New Year! 
I thought I would share a photo and some thoughts on this chilly day.

Here is a darling little head I bought a while ago. I think she is quite lovely:

But what I really wanted to write about is my headaches.

(Warning:  This next bit is very boring, so unless you really love me, you are encouraged to stop reading here)!

You have been hearing about them more on the blog as I introduce you to this problem in my life.  Today marks the 15th anniversary of my headaches.

Just over 15 years ago, I had a horseback riding accident while taking a jump (the horse refused and I was thrown).  That day, I suffered whiplash and torn muscles.  Shortly after that, on January 1, 1998, the headaches (and back pain) started and have not stopped.  At first the headaches were intermittent, and then over the years became chronic daily.  In the last several years, and 2012 in particular, they have become the central focus of my existence.  Not work, not decorating, not relationships.  

Headaches rule my days.

I was eventually led to a neurologist who diagnosed me with chronic daily tension-type/cervicogenic (neck-related) headache with (the added bonus of) a migraine component (migraine a few days a month).  

I have had a headache every single day for at least 5 years, with only a few days here and there with a very light headache.  Most days, they are moderate to severe.

I could not understand why my neck and back always ached and why neck posture, exercise, and head-turning exacerbated my headaches until February 2012 when I was diagnosed with chronic myofascial pain syndrome.  This means my muscles (especially in my back) generate chronic trigger points (areas of tightness) which then refer pain into my neck and subsequently trigger the headaches.  My neck and back ache constantly, as does my head.

One might think that with massage, physio, and some good medications, this would be easily fixed.  I thought so too.  But I have seen many practitioners, including regular visits to a neurologist (for the headache) and physiatrist (rehab specialist for the myofascial pain) but to no avail.

Medications don't help much, or they help but are so sedating I can't take them.  The ones I take now are so sedating it is difficult to get up for work and I don't have any energy (I understand fully why people with mental health issues stop taking their meds.  You always feel like you are thinking and moving in molasses.  I never have energy.  Everything I do is forced).

I have done cortisone injections, trigger point injections, botox injections (26 in my head, back and neck), and visited many chiropractors, physiotherapists, massage therapists, and so on.  My chiropractor (especially active release) and massage therapist help a bit, but the pain "resets" itself every day, so therapy one day does not often last long.  I work out with a fitness trainer who does a lot of core and back work with me.  This has helped greatly with my sitting all day at work (I was tortured by sitting) and I don't pull muscles as easily since my muscles are stronger now, but the exercise itself leads to increased pain.  It is a Catch-22.

Other weird things like overstimulation (too much intellectual stimulation) can cause my head to ache mostly if I am in a busy environment (lots of people talking).  Which makes a technical engineering career a bit challenging but luckily I work alone a lot.  Caffeine is a huge trigger, mostly of the migraine component.  Good regular sleep is critical but it is hard to sleep well with pain and brutal headaches wake me in the night.  Stress is not helpful either, as in most illnesses.

The only things that help me are: tons of sleep, ice packs, light botox in my forehead, and my chosen medications.  I also have an excellent ergonomic chair at work that allows me to rest my head back, so headaches don't exacerbate over the day as bad as they used to.

Dealing with all this is exhausting, depressing and deflating.  So I finally took everyone's advice and asked for time off at work this past August.

I was REFUSED.  I was shocked.  The corporate doctor did not examine me and was rather hostile.  From our conversations, he has no expertise with my condition but decided that since I have been so capable of excellent engineering work (which he doesn't realize it is killing me to produce!) that I must be just overdoing it.  I am not sure how to take being a senior engineer any more lightly.  He did not have any advice for that.  What he did not care to realize, despite my explanations, is that I am only functional for work.  I suffer through the work days and come home to bed at 7pm with ice packs and handfuls of medications.  I have no evening or weekends and don't socialize.  I only go out to therapies and the gym.  I suffer daily with pain and sleep terribly most nights.  I am chronically exhausted.  I have blinding headaches most days and struggle to do my job.  There is no relief and all I seem to manage is to drag myself to work, put in 200% effort to try to function there in a demanding environment, and then drag myself home.  I get excellent job ratings, by the way (which is how one remains employed).  I can't slack off or act sick or I will lose my job (which might be a blessing, I can hear you thinking...I am starting to agree with you).

We talked to a lawyer and my only option is to sue my company.  And there is a good chance I would not win.  They like to drag people like me (people with headaches, people with chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia) through all sorts of shit before they are done.  They blame us for our illnesses.  As though it is a character flaw.  They cannot measure how sick we are.  And don't believe us when we tell them.

I am the highest achieving person I know and I want my life back.  I want to be a great engineer and even greater person, but I am prevented by chronic pain.  I want to exercise, learn, improve, set goals and achieve them!  In no way am I responsible for this illness through some sort of personal failure.  I am so angry!  But sadly, I also know I am not the only sick person who is experiencing this...

Thankfully, in recent weeks  my company has agreed to give me a reduced work week.  Starting tomorrow I am working 3 days a week.  This will be good for my health (I can sleep the 12h per day I seem to need and run to all my appointments) but crappy for my career.  I just wish I had been approved for disability so I could have taken a few months off.  I am so tired.  But I guess people like me don't have visible-enough illness.  

And please don't tell me to quit my job.  At my age, I am too young to sit on the couch for the rest of my life and too sick to learn anything else that will pay even remotely well (the last time I checked, no one I know was handing out cash to pay my bills).  I want to work until I simply cannot.  I am not one of those people who can sit home and do yoga and read a book and feel fulfilled.  I need a purpose and to do a hard day's work to feel rewarded in life.  And it is easier to do a job I know then to quit and take a year or two off and then struggle to find another job (that I don't know) in a year or two.  Things move so fast in my industry, it is hard enough to keep up now.  If I take a year or two off, I simply will not be able to go back.  So I think it is easier if I stay in the flow of things...but at this point, I don't trust my own judgment any more!

Anyway, my doctor told me he has patients with multiple sclerosis who are on disability and have better function and feel better than I do.  But conditions like mine are not taken seriously.  I cannot believe that a corporate doctor can hear that I have headaches 24/7 for years and have no compassion.  It is clear that his oath to "do no harm" didn't stick.  I am sure the corporate bonus from refusing claims is more motivating.

Anyway...this brings me to 2013.

 I am pursuing some new treatments this year and I am very excited.  I have some very dark days but I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I am seeing a TMJ/jaw surgeon in Florida in February to see if a disk issue in my jaw might be the basis of my problem.  The jaw can apparently move slightly in whiplash injuries and result in all sorts of head and muscle pain issues without obvious jaw complaints. 

This brings me to another issue...

Do I continue to talk about my headaches on this blog?

I have been thinking of starting a new blog, for headache sufferers to read, but all my friends are here, reading Windlost!

For those of you who love design and decorating, you know how isolating it can be when our friends and family don't understand.  It is the same with headaches.  It is so isolating. So I often blog something pretty here even when I am feeling crummy.  It is just nice to be around sympathetic listeners.

I am not sure whether to combine the two issues here, and risk boring you all to tears, or starting a separate blog?

In a way, I already have two separate identities (work me and blogger me) and don't really want a third!

What do you think?


  1. Terri,
    I just can't begin to imagine living with chronic pain. My heart goes out to you and wish I could come up with some new thing to try.

    I'm not trying to dissuade you from discussing your headaches on Windlost but I'm wondering if it's the best place to find other people in the same situation. Have you looked into Yahoo Groups. I used to belong to a rosacea group and although there were annoying crazies, I did get useful information. I also recently heard of Patients Like Me that brings people with similar illnesses together so then discuss the success of different treatments. It might be worth some investigation.

    I hope some of these new avenues provide some relief.

  2. OH, I forgot to say I LOVE that head!

  3. Terri, I am so sorry about the corporate lawyer. If he would read this blog he would realize how you have suffered over so many years. I have no advice about the other blog - but to trust you instincts on that.

    In this post I noticed you mentioned chronic myofascial pain syndrome. Not sure why I never noticed that in other posts. My mother suffered terribly w/that for a long time and then had surgery. After the surgery all her pain was gone. Let me know if you'd like me to ask her the name of her surgeon and the name of the operation. I believe it is someone very well respected in NY state.

  4. Oh, Terri, I am so sorry for your suffering. I hope that your trip to Florida sheds some light on your condition and some relief might be found. Wishing you a peaceful 2013. xoxo,
    And I also think the head is beautiful. It is just the sort of thing I love.

  5. Terri,

    Wish I could say I was surprised by the corporate doctor, but that just isn't the case. You're right, since dr.s can't measure or see our pain, some dismiss it out of hand. I know what it's like to have years of unrelenting pain; I don't know how you have remained working full-time as long as you do. Life is exhausting when you're in pain. I hope the TMJ specialist has some good answers for you. I'll read about headaches wherever you decide to blog. :)

  6. Dear Terri,

    First of all, you are already a great person, it's so easy to tell by reading your blog and the love you put into it, especially since you must deal with your chronic pain on a daily basis. I had no idea it was so intense. Thank you for sharing your most personal information with us. I personally would like to hear about your treatments but trust your gut when it comes to starting something new. I have a few choice words for the corporate doctor that I cannot publish with my comment. The TMJ sounds like a possible solution, wouldn't that be wonderful. In any event, keep me posted and I must say you are very heroic and a positive role model to choose to live your life to the fullest, despite your current situation. I wish you well and Goddess-speed. xo

  7. Since you asked, I have actually been thinking about blogging again...what to do, what not to do...and in the end it all comes down to relationships. I don't care a flying flip about numbers, pretty, even comments, what I do care about is you as a person. I will always read what you write because you write so well and share your soul with us. I am in such awe of you...that you are even vertical. I can well imagine feeling very angry in similar circumstances. You always have my support, my love, and my prayers for whatever they are worth. I am so glad that you are going to Florida to see if they can help. Keep seeking, keep asking. (If I had that company doctor here, I'd be very tempted to give him a swift kick in the keister.)

  8. Terri - You and I have emailed about this, but I never fully understood your situation. So glad you shared this post! Though I do not have any advice, perhaps another reader will....someone in the same situation. I think you should not start another blog. Not all design blogs are 100% dedicated to decorating, design, etc. I'm so sorry for what you are going through.
    Take care!

  9. Dear Terri,
    I think a blog is what ever you want to make it, talking about you pain is totally fine by me. Yesterday I had the headache from hell and thought of you, we all so wish there was something we could do for you. I so enjoy what ever you talk about on your blog, you are an amazing writer, I only wish I could write half as well. Everything you blog about is so interesting. I feel so lucky to have meet you, I will be including you in my best thoughts that your trip in February helps.
    Changing the talk, I so love that ladies head, is it old?
    Hugs to you, your friend Carol Anne x

  10. terri, I really appreciate reading the full story behind your headaches. I knew that they were a big problem for you, but it really helps to learn about your journey.

    as others have mentioned, your essence really comes through on your blog. I think that is why yours is so well-read and well-loved. so, I think we readers would welcome your WHOLE self, not just your decor-obsessed self (although we love that, too).

    Your blog is one of the first decor blogs I came across (maybe THE first) and for that reason it is and always will be special to me. I hope you will continue to share this part of you with us and that you will know that we readers care a lot about your health and healing.

    I am wishing for you in this new year a speedy healing from your headaches and a full and busy life ahead.

    your friend, donna

    oh, and that head is stunning. it is just the kind of thing I love because it's just a little different. it makes me think you and I are really a lot alike...

  11. I love reading your blog. I am so sorry that you are suffering so much. I cannot imagine what that must be like after so many years. I never tire of reading people's real life issues. Imagine if there is one person out there who read this post and you helped them. Perhaps they had an accident and are currently suffering and their doctors haven't diagnosed the problem. Best wishes and I hope that with the new treatments comes some relief.

  12. Terri,
    My heart goes out to you in your pain. I have back issues and know how pain drags one down. (My pain is not nearly as severe as yours.)

    I see no need for you to begin another blog, unless, as someone else has suggested, you might find more help via that route. I enjoy reading about various aspects of your life, not just your design aesthetic, which is beautiful.

  13. Hi my dear Terri,
    So this is my honest opinion. Your headaches are part of you, what you go through each day, what influence you to feel a certain way as well. Why should you make two blogs? If you want to make another blog to help others with headaches that's different, then that's a good idea, but don't feel like it takes away from your blog. Your blog is wonderful, and I have enjoyed getting to know you and your life through it. I wouldn't change a thing. We all have our baggage, our crosses and the good and the bad are part of our components, what make us who we are. I would probably be a different person if I didn't have to care for my mom, probably a lot less stressed out, but that is what I deal with and that has influenced who I am.
    So you write what you wish where you wish to write it. It's your blog, not the readers.
    I pray that 2013 brings you much success with the possible TMJ treatment and any new methods of therapy. My heart goes out to you my dear blogging friend and I shall pray every day for a headache free day for you. God bless

  14. Oh Terri! I know we've emailed about your headaches in the past. What a bummer that your corporate doctor didn't budge. My brother thinks life in Calgary is too fast-paced with the booming oil industry. My heart and and prayers go out to you.

    As for combining personal + blog life, I actually love it. I've long-ago stopped reading blogs that only focused on their primary subject matter... For me, I love to know about the person behind the blog. I love seeing your cats, reading occasionally about David, and yes - even hearing about your health. I think blogs that include glimpses into the author's personal life are so much more REAL.

    Take care.

  15. Anonymous7:04 pm

    Hi Terri, first I love your head. I know its frustrating and difficult to live with pain on a daily basis and eventually it will effect every area of your professional and personal life. I am sorry your work isn't more understanding but quite honestly they will never be given that you admit the pain originates from a non work related incident. You are obviouisly a consumate professional and keep performing at an excellent level despite your pain, which doesn't help your casue professionally. I am only speaking from experience as someone who has had a similiar issue with an employer. Have you tried accupuncture? I was skeptical at first but am now a beliver. Best of luck!

  16. Terri
    Happy New Year to you to! And I hope it is happy and you find some relief.
    I do feel your pain. I have commented before about my own migraine experience. My first was at 19 and I am now (a very young) 50. It is very depressing and brings you to the end of your rope for lack of a better term. Especially when no one appears to be able to help and there is no end in sight. I had an MRI last Sunday and while no one wants to be sick you find yourself hoping they can find something wrong so it can be fixed.

    Regarding your Blog. I very much look forward to your posts. There are a great number of blogs out there with a ton of info but there has always been something special to me about reading yours. I think it is more about you and your taste in design which is more formal than mine but very beautiful and inspiring. It feels personal to me perhaps because you do share your pain and experience. And perhaps because I know exactly how you feel. I am not alone and neither are you.

    Your blog will be what you make it and the people who it touches will follow you because of that.

    If you ever need an ear, I'm always available.

    Airdrie, AB

  17. Terri, I know you've referenced your headaches in the past, but didn't realize how frequent or how severe they are. I have occasional sinus headaches and I know how awful a headache can be. I've had migraines only two or three times in my life, but that was enough - they're debilitating. I'm so sorry that you have these issues, and I admire you for pushing through the pain to do such an outstanding job at work, and with your blog.

    I am not a medical professional but I do work in the health care field. I am going to ask around and see what I can find out about your issues. I'm wondering if you've tried acupuncture. It seems like something that might bring some relief. Just curious, how did you find out about the doctor in Florida?

  18. It's your blog and you can talk about whatever you like, this is your spring board! I never thought you talked about them too much -go for it!

  19. Dear Terri,
    I admire you. Even though you suffer from headaches and are tired, you can still bee humorous and bring happiness to other people. Your blog is inspiring and interesting. I hope you new treatment and your reduced work week will help you feel better. I understand your feeling of frustration over not be able to do everything you want to do. I am not an "yoga-person" eithter, I love the satisfaction I get by doing a good work.
    I wish you a better new year!

  20. Anonymous9:49 am

    Hello Terri, My first comment is that I wish you improved HEALTH and happiness in 2013. I vote for you maintaining 1 blog as Wind Lost is who you are and it is where all of your readers have grown to love reading about you - be it your decorating, your adorable cat, your hubbie and your headaches. Please don't change anything.

    I sympathize with your anger/frustration with the corporate Dr. I suffered for years with a painful female problem and ran up against many attitudes in the corporate life and also the medical area - one specialist told me "to get used to living with pain as football players live with pain"! Unbelievable but true... luckily I had a doctor who helped me and after a few surgeries, I could resume 'normal' life! Many coworkers used to suggest I quit work rather than continue under such circumstances, but I had the long range in view and didn't give up and luckily now I am enjoying my retirement (some headaches still..) with a nice pension!

    Keep strong and look forward to more posts about YOU, NB in Ontario

  21. Anonymous1:41 pm

    I am sorry you had such an awful experience with the doctor regarding your work and chronic daily headaches/migraine. I have always checked in on your blog b/c I have chronic migraines. I hope you can find better pain management.

  22. Though I do not comment, I read your blog regularly. I don't think you need to have two blogs, unless by doing so you might attract others with chronic headaches that may have helpful suggestions.

    Due to back-to-back accidents, I went through a long period of time with debilitating pain. Doctors told me there was nothing to be done and I'd have to learn to live with it. Eventually, I went to a Chinese doctor and began acupuncture treatments. This, along with a very good chiropractor, eventually gave me relief. Though I live with chronic pain, it is vastly improved. I wish you well in 2013 with your new treatments.

    And… I like your head :)

  23. I have a feeling that most of your readers would want to know about your health and would end up looking at your other blog, anyhow. I know I would. I am sorry to hear about your company's Dr. assessment. This surprises me, as it seems that the big oil companies tend to bend over backwards to make their staff happy and help them out (at least that's the impression my hubby has working as a staff Engineer at Cenovus). I can certainly understand not wanting to give up your career. I have not been practicing for almost 2 years now, and while I am never bored at home (taking care of 3 diva's!), I do miss the medicine, and in a way feel guilty about not working. I plan to go back once my youngest is in school, and I'll keep up my CE in the meantime, but I know that I'm going to be out of the loop. So much changes so fast! I also know how demanding your job is (assuming it's similar to my husbands) and can't imagine working through such chronic, severe pain. I hope you find that one magical treatment that will cure it all!

  24. Hi Terri, yes love the head! Thank you for your honesty in sharing your story. I know what you mean in terms of comments/blog...do what feels right. You have a great eye and thoughtful prose. We are all here for you:) xob

  25. Hello sweet readers. I am enjoying all your comments, insights, suggestions and the kindness (I really needed some of that!). I am always surprised about how many hidden health issues people have and I am also glad I shared the real story of my headaches. It is hard to put on a brave face every day and not be the sick person, but at the end of the day, I am sick and I don't want to be ashamed of that or feel like it is somehow my fault.

    Yes, I was also shocked at the corporate doctor. I was expecting the opposite. I think it was a case of a typical know-it-all doctor who just did not want to listen to some woman who looked perfectly fine and "seemed" to be functioning. The lack of insight, compassion and awareness of pain issues was shocking. Moreover the lack of INTEREST in helping me was even more shocking.

    But that's how many corporations roll. They are not about the employee - they are about shareholder return - and the sooner we realize that, the better!


    Thanks for all the love...you're the best!!!

  26. Cindy4:49 pm

    I don't very often comment, but I love your blog and find your taste exact and perfect. Please continue to integrate who you are with your gift for decorating. Both my daughter and I have suffered with hours and days of headaches due to head/neck related accidents. My daughter is on the same path that you are...looking for someone or something that will help her on a permanent basis.

  27. Anonymous10:56 pm

    Dear Terri,
    You can’t imagine change right now because you are trying so hard to “stay in the flow of things”. The company you work for is not worth destroying yourself or any precious personal relationships over. You will find another purpose in life; you clearly have talents which go beyond your profession. You are working harder than you realize. It takes an inordinate amount of energy to struggle through chronic pain.
    Try avoiding negative thoughts such as defining yourself as whole only through “putting in a hard day’s work” and “not sitting on the couch for the rest of your life”.
    Like you, I have spent years suffering from debilitating chronic pain and fatigue, for which there has been no effective treatment. I spent years devoting every ounce of energy to my career. Gradually the pain and fatigue made it impossible for me to keep up with the daily demands of my job. Instead of being “admired” for my work ethic, my failing health was seen as a compromise to my professional integrity. I eventually exhausted all of my vacation and sick leave. At forty five years of age I quit my job and along with it my career ended. This was six years ago, and despite great hardship, it was the best decision of my life! My overall wellbeing has improved and I am gradually learning not to torment myself over any self imposed short comings.

  28. Anonymous7:41 am

    I so enjoy your writings in your blog whether it is about decorating, your travels, or your chronic health issues. In other words you can write about whatever you wish....it is your blog and we enjoy reading about your thoughts in so many areas of life.
    Initially, I was drawn to your blog when I learned you lived and worked in Calgary where I spent 3 1/2 years in the banking industry (now retired and living in Nova Scotia).
    I can only send you my best wishes and hopes that you will find a medical procedure that will provide relief....good luck in Florida.
    Cheers, Dee

  29. Terri, Reading that made me pissed on your behalf. I am stunned to hear that you were not believed. I can't even imagine how draining it must be to suffer through all of the time. Only you can decide what the best course of action is in your life. As far as the blog goes, it does not bother me to read the headache stuff at all. I feel so sad for you that you are living this way.

  30. Anonymous4:15 pm

    Just came across your blog looking for ideas for a home reno.

    I have chronic silent migraine (which for me means visual disturbances, numbness in face, arms, legs, torso, slurring of speech, and a plethora of other neurological symptoms, multiple times every day, and waking me multiple times every night). Sometimes it moves to chronic migraine with aura which involves the headache component. It literally took me years to get diagnosed. I have school-age kids and was often told "this is just stress because you have young kids at home" - I didn't think it was, but after a while came to realize this is doctor code for "I don't know what you have and can't be bothered to spend any more time on your case" - unfortunately an all too common response from doctors in our health care system. Canadians are so proud of our health care system that it really takes having a difficult to diagnose and treat condition to make you realize how poor it is for those with chronic illnesses.

    I was sent all over hell's half acre for MRIs, bloodwork, nerve conduction tests, etc., when various doctors thought I might have MS, tumors, stroke/TIA, west nile, thyroid problems, rheumatoid arthritis, etc. The good doctors only have one or two good ideas for diagnosis/treatment each but they keep at it. The bad doctor's give up and try to put it back on you and tell you it's just stress or psycosomatic. They have no idea how hard it is to even get through the day or get to their appts, how hopeful you become (even though you try not to be) that this time there will be a treatment that will work, and how soul-destroying it is when you realize it hasn't work, or the doc has bumped your appt yet again, etc.

    I finally got to a migraine neurologist (not many of them, but general neurologists in my experience do not have the expertise on head pain etc., to effectively diagnose or treat) and am now on a comination of medications and supplements that are for the most part controlling the symptoms. I was very lucky. I also have alpha-EEG intrusion and it sounds like you do too - it is associated with chronic pain that distrupts your ability to sleep properly - your brain, at the point it should go into deep restorative sleep, starts acting awake instead (presumably from the pain). One of my migraine meds - amitryptiline, makes me drowsy and has helped immensely to allow me to sleep through the symptoms. I can adjust the meds up and down as needed (for me, spring and fall weather patterns make my health significantly worse) I also take calcium channel blockers at a fixed level, a high dose of riboflavin, and magnesium citrate. Should these cease working for me, I will move to epilepsy medications.

    There is an interesting documentary project on migraines (I know that is only part of your problem) being made out of New York called "The Migraine Project" or "out of my head" - google it - they put up an interesting 5 to 10 min trailer about the topic.

    Please start a blog. There are far too few patient voices on the topic. Only by sharing stories do people understand how daily pain is completely disabling, and often in what should be the most productive years of your life. There are too many of us, and not much research or doc training.

    Most GPs receive only 3 hours of training in med school on headaches - which includes everything from migraine, sinus, tension, injury related, etc. Almost without exception, a GP will be completely uninformed and out of date on head pain research. Don't take it personally. Unfortunately you will have to take the role of educator to your GP (in my experience anyway).

    Hope the reduced work week and some sort of treatment plan will begin to work for you.

    Best wishes for 2013

  31. This is the first time I have 'rabbit-trailed' my way to your blog. I am sorry that you suffer with these headaches and all that comes with them. I think it is helpful to write about it, first, because it is part of who you are and second, it may help you to find answers.
    I couldn't help but think of this other blogger over here at:


    She too had a head injury and suffered for a year with unbearable headaches until she finally found a diagnosis. I'm sure you've had MRI's, but I thought I would share her story in case, on a long shot, your injury was similar.
    I wish you well and hope for all good things in your search for answers.

  32. My best friend had daily headaches for over 20 years. Pain meds did not help but exacerbated her issue. We found a specialist in Houston and she had a surgery a year ago and is pain free for the first time. If you would like to speak with her, please email me and I will get you two in touch. She is very empathetic and loves to share what she has learned. Good luck to you! Vikki. Myhousemygardenblog@gmail.com

  33. Anonymous5:41 pm

    Terri, it was my dentist who finally helped me solve the mystery of my frequent headaches. I eventually had surgery to both my upper and lower jaws to manage my Temporomandibular Joint Disorder. I have never regretted my decision and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I hope the visit to the TMJ specialist is the beginning of a pain free life for you!

  34. Oh Terri, I'm just dipping my toes back in design blogging after a year-long journey into wedding blogging. I've been catching up with my old favorite bloggers and am so sorry to read this post.

    I wish I knew the answers. My migraines seem like nothing compared to what you've described.

    I'll be reading, no matter what you decide to do with content. I have revisited so many blogs I used to frequent and have seen them dead that I'm happy to see a blog still going, even if the content has changed a little bit. Long time readers come back for your voice, not just for pretty pictures.

    1. Anonymous7:58 pm

      Terry, I'm so glad you wrote this post. I had no idea you suffered so severely, and my heart goes out to you. I feel like I know you better, and now I admire you even more.

      I'm not a blogger, and I'm fortunate not to suffer from illness, so I may not be the best person to provide input on your question. I also hope my suggestion doesn't come across as silly or thoughtless or intentionally unhelpful.

      Whether you start a new blog or keep everything in Windlost, maybe include in your posts thoughts on the designs of the medical and other treatment facilities you visit. You love design and know how much comfort and joy it can bring. I'm betting you would have a keen eye for identifying the good and the bad in those spaces, and lots of interesting suggestions for what could make those environments better. Mostly, it might just bring a little bit of fun into a not so fun part of your life. Just a thought. : )

      I truly hope the source of your pain is found and resolved soon. In the mean time, I'm sending you positive thoughts for good health and any extra bit of strength you might need to get through the tougher days.


  35. This too shall pass!

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