A Christmas Weekend (Not to Remember)

This was supposed to be a typical pre-Christmas hectic weekend. I never imagined I would end up with a broken foot (okay, it feels like it), two pieces of broken glassware, non-functioning digital camera software and a heap of chores and baking that didn't get done. Here goes...

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On Friday night, we attended David's Christmas party. I would include a photo but we didn't take one because David was freaking out that we'd be late. Give me a break. I left work early and made it home by 5:10pm and was ready to leave at 5:40 for his company's ridiculous party which started at 6pm! Duh...spouses have jobs too!

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Despite the rush, I summoned my inner diva and looked lovely (if I do say so) in a gorgeous black silky skirt with elegant ivory flowers on it and a little velvet jacket over a sparkly black tank. I also wore 4 inch heels (maybe 3.5") which is about 2 inches taller than what I usually wear (just for reference). My feet hurt!

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His party was pretty fun (except for the vulgar go-go dancers his red-necked oil company organizers hired to "dance" while the band played. YUCKO! No class). I felt grossed-out until I noticed that all the fat oil-industry bastards and their trophy wives seemed to be eating it up. At which point I gave up. I clearly don't fit in a world that thinks half-dressed go-go dancers are appropriate for a Christmas party. Ugh! Actually, three of David's colleagues or wives commented that it was inappropriate. I agreed, but I am not permitted to grind my axe on this subject in front of David (he's heard it all before!) :)

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All-in-all, it was a fun party and the food was pretty good, with a delictious chocolate cheesecake for dessert. Yum! And we chatted with many lovely people, including a fireman who told us some fascinating horror stories.

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Last night we attended my team Christmas party at one of Calgary's best restaurants, where the food was more upscale and delicious. My company parties are always good because I work for a generally classy non-sexist company that takes us to nice places. Of course, there's always the odd off-colour joke by a drunk manager who thinks he's being funny. The group was much smaller, about 50 people, compared to hundreds and hundreds at David's company party. At the end of the evening, we had a gift swap and I brought home the crystal bowl I'd bought, which made me happy since it was the nicest gift there. And did I mention, I also wore stupid high heels?

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All's well 'til now, then everything went downhill.

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First of all...I didn't sleep all night, last night. One of the handsome waiters at our party was a moron and clearly gave my caffeinated coffee instead the decaf I requested. I always sleep well and never have insomnia (unless I have coffee and then I lay awake all night...this I know from experience). So I laid awake from 1:30 when we put out the lights, until 6:30, after which I dozed until 10am when David's mother called (as usual, waking me up...I wish she'd stop phoning in the morning every bloody weekend!!!!)

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So, to add insult to injury, when I got up I was unable to walk on my right foot. It feels like my foot is broken. The pain is terrible and my foot is swollen on top out towards the toes, where my bones were jammed into those ridiculous shoes I wore Friday night.

I never understood the female shoe-lust thing, but I bought a killer pair of party shoes and wore them anyway, assuming all those raving lunatic chicks who talk about "you have to suffer for beauty" were right. Well, they aren't right. Four-inch heels are for hookers, not normal intelligent women who should know better (and can use other skills, such as wit and charm and IQ to lure a man). :)

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Luckily I'm seeing my amazing chiropractor tomorrow at 5pm (for my back, which, have I mentioned, has been out for 2 weeks??). I must have him examine zee foot, if I am capable of walking the 10 blocks to his office!

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So I started today on about 2h sleep with a painfully aching foot. I went to tidy up the kitchen and throw out some of the enormous pile of paper recycling and clutter accumulating on our counter top. As I was moving papers, I picked up a crystal serving plate I'd just bought to peel off the label and wash it. When I lifted it, it fell right out of my hands onto the counter, smashing into a million pieces. An hour later I was ready to officially re-start my day!

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So I went to the mall, bought some Christmas craft goodies and groceries, groaned and moaned with my excruciating foot pain (and headache from lack of sleep), and finally made it home. Once here, I made a lovely NOEL garland Christmas craft project and took some pictures to post, when I discovered my stinking digital camera won't upload. I don't know what the problem is, but since I'm the resident computer expert, I have a feeling I won't have the patience to deal with re-installing whatever the hell needs re-installed until a VERY LONG TIME FROM NOW when I don't have a blistering migraine, dark circles under my eyes, and a broken foot, for example.

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So, after that fiasco and not being able to post craft photos for you to see, I decided to make lemon cookies. As I hauled out the food processor, I knocked a coffee pot out of the cupboard. In slow motion I watched the glass carafe come spiralling out and onto the floor. Another million pieces of glass. So I spent another good 30 minutes cleaning up glass, sweeping, and then vacuuming, all the while shooing the cat away and dying from foot and head pain. Suffice to say, I didn't get the cookies made. And my dining room table is covered with half-finished crafts, and it's 11pm and I should've been in bed an hour ago.

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Such is my glorious, quiet, childless life. I hope tomorrow is better. ; )