Friday, April 26, 2013

Loss

We had to put down our beloved Biscuit last Saturday.

He became rapidly unwell on Thursday night and by Saturday we really didn't have much choice.

It's been so lonely and sad here this week.  He was a constant companion and his presence in the house is sorely missed.
Biscuit lost over 4 lbs in a few short weeks after he was diagnosed with an intestinal problem (likely lymphoma).

When looking back at photos, I was surprised to see how burly he looked at 12 lbs - what a handsome boy.  He loved sitting on the computer desk and walking on the keyboard as I typed, so as I write this post I am missing him even more:

Biscuit loved having naps, so anywhere I was situated reading decorating magazines, he could reliably be found a foot away, having a nap:

He was my favorite photography model.  I have more photos of him than any person I know (who lets you take 100 pictures of them in a row?):

Thanks to his penchant for naps on all the furniture, I kept lint rollers in every room of the house.  It was kinda sad this week not having to lint roller my yoga pants every 20 minutes.  I would love to be covered in fur right now if it meant having him back:

I will miss my darling soft boy who most loved being up high on furniture: 


He was the loveliest cat and so smart and interactive. 

I miss him following me around the house and talking to me, drinking from the sink, walking on my magazines, and sitting in the front window for hours on end, watching the birds.  I will miss him chasing paper balls and wanting my breakfast cereal and eating the chicken right off our plate (once...) and having epic naps someplace I'd like to sit/sleep: 

 I will miss his being perfect and gentle and kind and lovely every single day. 

I wish I could change things, but I can't.

42 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry, I will say a little prayer for you and Biscuit.

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  2. Oh so sad for you. I'm not looking forward to that with our dog who is about 11 or 12 years old now.

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  3. He is a handsome boy. Such beautiful coloring. Such a good model! No wonder you're so very good with photography; he taught you a great deal. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  4. what a beautiful cat and friend. i tell you terri i still have not gotten over losing our last dog and that was over 5 yrs ago. i know. he was the best. we also lost an orange tabby that resembled your biscuit. smart, smart cat. sending you peace. xo

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  5. terri, I am so sorry. I was really hoping that he would improve following your last post. I know this is gonna be difficult. we are thinking of you! donna

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  6. I've been thinking about you all week. I hope you're doing okay.

    He was certainly a great model and you have some wonderful photographs to remember him by.

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  7. Oh Terri I'm so, so sorry! Sending you big hugs and love from Houston.
    xoxo~
    Tricia

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  8. Anonymous7:20 am

    I feel deeply sad reading this. I feel your own sadness. I "know" the pain. The pain will soften gradually - very gradually - and leave space for good memories. And as I write this, the pain can come back in a flash, after many years, for example in reading you this morning and hurt so much. I thank you for sharing your sadness because it gives me the chance to tell you that you are not alone and for me to know that my sadness is universal, not just mine. Dont know if I make sense (English is not my first language). I really want you to FEEL that I share your sadness. Louise

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  9. Such sad news, Terri. I'm so sorry for your loss. It hurts so much to lose a beloved pet, and Biscuit was a wonderful companion to you. The last photo of him above is precious. It will take time, but eventually you'll be able to think of him without crying and feeling sad. It's been a while since we lost our dog Winnie, and we still miss her terribly, but the pain - for the most part - has subsided. I'll be thinking of you,
    Claudia

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  10. Oh Terri, you made me cry. He was so beautiful. And he still is walking the garden by our father's side. Perhaps being chased by my Maxi, my Lhaso Apso doggy that died 3 years ago. I feel your pain. I am deeply sorry. The souls of these dear friends are in heaven I believe that and he will send you down love from above in his silent peaceful way. May his memory bring you peace and comfort knowing that you have a friend in a heavenly place representing you and your family.
    Much love sweet girl,
    xoxo
    Lisa
    Leeshideaway

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  11. Anonymous8:31 am

    I am so sad for your loss, but I think that Biscuit was a very loved and lucky cat. This post was a lovely way to describe your relationship and the daily companionship you gave each other. Maddie

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  12. sweet terri, i am so sad for you, what a devastating time you are enduring. that loss is so profound when you come home and our constant companions are not there.

    what a lovely boy and so photogenic. big hugs to you
    debra

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  13. Oh, I'm so sorry to read this. I love Biscuit just from his photos so I can imagine that your love for him was very deep and your loss great. I can also tell from looking at his pictures that Biscuit adored and loved you so much too. Thinking of you, Michele

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  14. Anonymous10:39 am

    Terri and husband, I wanted to offer my sympathies in the loss of dear Biscuit. I am sure he felt so loved in your home and what a marvellous life he had. I know of the pain in this type of loss as my husband and I have said a final goodbye to three dogs and would give anything to have prolonged their time. I hope you take some comfort in the poem below. Sincerely, NB

    "Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
    There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
    There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
    The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together.... "

    Author unknown...

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  15. Terri,
    I was very sad to find out about Biscuit. My family has always had pets, and it is so difficult when they leave us. As I mentioned, my mom would say they are waiting over the rainbow bridge. We'll all miss seeing Biscuit.
    Take care,
    Loi

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  16. Terri,

    What a dear little fellow- he will always live in your heart.

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  17. I am ever so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Biscuit. There is no consolation to offer other than I share your sorrow, Terri. His love remains.

    "And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy."
    Kahlil Gibran

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  18. So so sorry Terri. Losing our pets is so painful. He is a beautiful boy and will be loved and remembered forever.

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  19. Oh Terri, I am crying as I type this. Bless our sweet animals that leave this world for hopefully, a lovely and better place. Those last pictures of him looked so like my two girls when they were ready to leave as well. The hardest part is making the decision to let them go and actually doing it. I feel your pain sweet girl. They make us better people, don't you think? Cheri

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  20. What a handsome ginger boy. I've been thinking of you, wondering how you are. It is crushing to lose a beloved pet, but there must be some joy in knowing that there are so many readers that are here for you in spirit. I hope your beloved Biscuit, and my beloved Oli are having a good bit of fun wherever they may be.

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  21. Terri I'm so sorry to hear about your Biscuit. He was obviously so loved and so much a loving companion to you.

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  22. Squeak10:04 pm

    Oh, Terri, my heart is breaking for you. The tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write this. You were such a wonderful "mommy" to him and he obviously loved you. I wish there were something I could do to take away your pain.

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  23. oh my Terri, I am so sorry to read this post, remember the good times you had with him and know Biscuit had a wonderful life with you both, he was one very lucky sweet boy.
    Hugs from Carol Anne, Jim and Coco

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  24. So sorry to hear about your sweet kitty. He was adorable. (((hugs)))

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  25. Anonymous8:57 am

    I am so sad that you have lost Biscuit...you have written so beautifully about him. You will have so many memories to cherish.
    Dee

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  26. Thanks each of you for your lovely comments. They help a lot.

    xo Terri

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  27. elsa_francoa@hotmail.com11:11 am

    Hola,cuanto lamento lo ocurrido a tan hermosa criatura igual al de nosotros aqui en casa mismo color e igualmente apropiado de todos los muebles y computadora,un abrazo fuerte y ojala pronto pueda encontrar otro cariño como el, saludos Elsa.

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  28. Terri, I am so sad to hear this! Its very hard to find useful words that truly comfort but I do feel for you and your loss.

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  29. I'm sorry for the loss of your sweet kitty, Terri. He had such beautiful coloring - I'm glad you have all the photos for memories.

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  30. I'm so sorry to hear this. What a regal boy! He was as lucky to have you as you were to have had him.

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  31. My sincere condolences for the loss of your boy. He was obviously the best sort of cat and you were so lucky to have known him.

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  32. This. Truly. Made. Me. Cry. Of course I have an old kitty who we almost had to put down and I just feel so bad for you...there are no words...just so sad. Big hugs!

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  33. Sorry to hear about your beautiful feline boy. You've taken some great photos to look back and remember the joy he brought you. I'm sure this little fellow had the best of everything (certainly the best decor!) and I know you gave him the idyllic life of a domestic cat.

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  34. Eu sinto muito Terri, eu amava o Biscuit, sempre entrava no blog para ver fotos dele, um gatinho lindo, mas acredito que logo você encontrará outro companheiro. Seja feliz !

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  35. So sorry to hear about Biscuit. I was hoping that there would be a different ending. He was such a handsome boy - thank you for sharing him with us.

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  36. :( Losing a bed is so sorrowful Thinking of you.

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  37. Anonymous6:51 am

    This just made me cry.I am so sorry.I also have my beloved cat Bob.He makes coming home so worth it.I feel your pain.Biscuit looked like such a lovely little man.
    Take care.
    Debbie

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  38. I tried to comment on this when you first posted, but the ipad kept freezing up. Now I have pulled out my laptop so I can properly reply.

    The picture of Biscuit with the dark background is positively regal. Although no real consolation, you are probably grateful now that Biscuit was such a willing subject for your photography.

    I grew up with cats, and adore them. I even wanted to be a cat doctor for a long stretch of time when I was growing up. Alas, my husband and one of my children are terribly allergic to cats, so I can't even become the cat lady that I dreamed of being when I was a child.

    I am so sorry for your loss...

    Holly

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  39. Oh Terri, I am so, so sorry. He was so handsome. Thank you so much for sharing him with us.

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  40. Anonymous7:17 am

    I am so sorry for your loss. He was such a handsome boy. I feel your pain. I have my own 'Biscuit.' His name is Mojo.

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  41. I'm so very sorry for your loss Terri.

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  42. we love these creatures so much and they help us be more connected to nature

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