Sunday, March 08, 2009

Changes!

Clock wall:  A fun photo I took at the Conran shop in Paris

I have two big events happening this week.  Neither is within my control.  One is definitely cause to celebrate (and also time to reflect), while the other is a little unnerving.  I think the latter might also be cause to celebrate, but right now it doesn't feel that way at all.

I have been on an emotional roller coaster all weekend and a physical one too, because my back is out.  I have a very bad and high-maintenance back.  I had a great yoga class Saturday which turned into terrible pain by evening because it aggravated an SI joint problem I've been having.  And my beloved chiropractor is in Japan until next week!  Today I was barely able to walk and laid most of the day on ice packs.  My whole back is seized and I'm having a blistering headache to go with it. Back episodes often flare up my headaches.

What a joyful way to start my big week.  Not.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about both events that are occuring this week.  It's funny how life changes.  Time keeps ticking by, and life passes whether you are ready or not, or whether you achieve what you set out to.  Sometimes (a lot of times) things happen to us that are beyond our control and we are supposed to roll with it.  Often, that sucks.  Sometimes these experiences make us grow, and other times, they make us fail and falter and want to hide in our beds.  Often lately, I want to hide in my bed.  

I know exactly who I am, but somehow I am unsure how to actualize all that I want in life.  I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and no matter what Oprah preaches, fulfilling yourself is a damn sight harder than it looks.

I will fill you in Tuesday on the first big change....

11 comments:

  1. Terri, I am so sorry to hear that you are having serious back problems along with your headaches. My husband lives with chronic back pain and I know how devastating it can be. I hope that this week brings some relief for you. Lee :)

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  2. Oh Terri! Its so debilitating having your back out, I know that feeling. Hang in there.

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  3. Terri,
    I have been sitting here wondering what kind of philosophical comment i could leave for you that would help you through this tough time.
    We don't know each other except for the complimentary comments regarding blogs and our classic style. So i will send you warm thoughts,cold ice packs, and hopes for speedy travel by your yoga instructor. Don't worry, soon you will have your "big girl panties" back on and be ready to tame the world. Lisa

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  4. Michele6:36 am

    I just want you to know how much your statement, "fulfilling yourself is a damn sight harder than it looks" helped me just now. I, too, suffer with migraines, and also battle ongoing depression. I often feel like a failure, and those words just resonated deeply with me. Thank you.

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  5. Leaving us hanging...how cruel!!!
    I hope it's good news...you deserve it!!

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  6. Oh nuts! I am so sorry that you are coping with a back that is acting up. It's no fun at all. Having been there, I know this most definitely. Take care of yourself.

    The good thing about all this reflection is that it usually gets us ready for the-next-step whatever it may be. I'm always rooting for you!

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  7. Oh, poor you!! I am so sorry to hear about your back, that's awful.
    hope you get better soon, but I guess everybody tells you that... do you take any painkillers?
    take care and hang in there,

    Solange

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  8. So sorry you are not well this week. I have several guesses at what your changes are, although the tone of your post is ultimately hopeful so it sounds like you are OK with the changes that are coming in your life.

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  9. Hi Terri :)

    Ouch, that sounds bad, the back and the headaches I mean... Hope that both get better asap!

    What lovely pics you have posted about brown highlights :) I really like the white rug in one of the pictures, I have been trying to find something like it but haven't been very successful at it unfortunately.

    How exciting with two changes in your life! Looking forward to hearing what you are going to do :)

    Hope that you soon feel better!

    Hugs, Susanne

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  10. Anonymous9:31 am

    Hi. I have lower back issues and sometimes mine goes out. I can empathize. I am sorry yours is so bad. I hope Biscuit (if I remember your kitty's name correctly) is keeping you company. Carolyn

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  11. Terri, I'm sorry about your back & know how frustrating it can be :( I think that things are really going to start making themselves clear to you. your soul-searching will lead you to something even if it's something totally unexpected. huge hug & i'm praying for you.
    xoxo,
    lauren

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