tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post8380627073855595833..comments2024-03-27T19:35:50.579-06:00Comments on ~ Wind Lost ~: LostWindlosthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17014227226507484798noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-79723668606416330822008-01-10T14:12:00.000-07:002008-01-10T14:12:00.000-07:00I lived in Stockholm for almost ten years with my ...I lived in Stockholm for almost ten years with my family still living in the north part of Sweden, over 650 miles from me and then I finally decided to move back home four years ago and my only regret is that I didn't do it much, much sooner! There is so much more I would like to say to you but my english is so bad and I can't write here. I know what you're going through with the lostness, I feel the same way and I also have fibromyalgia and cronic fatigue decease so I know what you are talking about. I'm sending you warm energies, can you feel them! Lots of hugs!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-9020604531527662582008-01-10T14:06:00.000-07:002008-01-10T14:06:00.000-07:00Hi Terri~just want you to know that you're in my t...Hi Terri~<BR/>just want you to know that you're in my thoughts and I'm sending positive vibes your way.<BR/><BR/>I left a miserable soul-sucking job in 2004, and was terrified witless about jumping from what was "known" and miserable to what was unknown and possibly more miserable. Quite possibly the most terrifying thing I've ever done.<BR/><BR/>I loved the next job, and I knew I'd made the right decision right away. Sadly, the place closed in 2007, and I'm now just doing something to pay the bills and searching for another job I will love.<BR/><BR/>You spend more of your adult life at work than you spend doing ANYTHING else, including sleeping. For me, it is more important to love what I do than to be making scads of money.<BR/><BR/>Your writing is amazing; maybe you should think about doing some writing, freelancing writing about home decor. I hope that things get better for you.Lucy Arinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07058860776710439754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-74983634913219527182008-01-10T09:19:00.000-07:002008-01-10T09:19:00.000-07:00For pete's sake, Terri, quit your job or at least ...For pete's sake, Terri, quit your job or at least take a leave of absence!<BR/><BR/>JenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-28693213350959572822008-01-10T01:15:00.000-07:002008-01-10T01:15:00.000-07:00Hi...what a heart felt post..im 42 overweight, hav...Hi...what a heart felt post..im 42 overweight, have medical problems and a disabled daughter..this is life! we all have so much crap to deal with its not worth worring about it my dear...love your man, eat his wonderful food, red wine will help you sleep!!! and wear lycra! voila all sorted...and no buts....life is not a rehursal its a journey, all you can hope is that your ship leves the harbor.God bless you..regards fred in the uk xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-34076596597595975282008-01-09T19:55:00.000-07:002008-01-09T19:55:00.000-07:00This is one of the first times that I have visited...This is one of the first times that I have visited your site. I just wanted to say thanks for being so real. Your post was very poignant and I could relate to much of it. I believe that you are canadian, correct? I am am too and I work at an Alzheimer's Society in Ontario. I just wanted you to know that you are legally entitled to a leave of absense from your work if you are required to care for a family member (including parents). It is similar to taking a maternity leave. You may want to explore this as an option. Jill from foreverandeverhouse.blogspot.comJill -Forever and Ever Househttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12101076579279985597noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-70740524374853922262008-01-09T15:58:00.000-07:002008-01-09T15:58:00.000-07:00Terri my dearest, I read it once and I read it twi...Terri my dearest, I read it once and I read it twice, My english is not really good enough what I think in Swedish and want to write u. <BR/><BR/>I am thinking of u, sending u strength from cold north, If I could I come and give u a long hug.<BR/><BR/>Many hugs<BR/>KatarinaK A T A R I N Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14919715294784178832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-57347295435702454912008-01-09T10:49:00.000-07:002008-01-09T10:49:00.000-07:00Terri, this is the most honest and touching thing ...Terri, this is the most honest and touching thing I've ever read. And I cant tell you how many of us, although for different reasons and situations, if we were honest enough, would say the same things about our own lives. I dont know what answers or options you'll find in the months to come, but you have to believe that you will find them. If your like me, the worst feeling of all is hopelessness. I sometimes drive to work on the freeway (on my 40 minuted daily morning traffic packed commute) and stare at the sky and ask God, "Is this it?" Every time I hear that Peggy Lee song "Is That All There Is" I want to nod and say, "Yep, that's how I feel." But for me, I can handle the stress, the depression, but I cant handle the hopelessness. The sense that nothing in my life will ever change, nothing good is going to happen. <BR/><BR/>It's funny, b/c here in blogger world we all put our best faces forward. I dont really put a lot of my 'real' self on there, for a variety of reasons. But mostly b/c it's hard to admit I'm really unhappy with my job. I'm really unhappy with my financial situation and my lack of options. I have no financial way to even think about planning a family, and I already have friends who are on fertility drugs b/c thier eggs are dying. Sheeze, I blinked and suddenly realized that maybe I dont have all the time in the world. And I'm only 27. I can only imagine how pissed I'll be at 40. <BR/><BR/>I'm never one to force religion down anyone's throat. And, I dont know how you feel about it so I hope I dont offend you. But there are times when I know without a shadow of a doubt, that if I didnt have faith that God was somehow creating a purpose for me in all this, I dont think I could get out of bed in the mornings. Religion presents a scary God, lightening bolts and thundering voices. But the more I read in the Bible, the more I realize that he is a faithful God. He knows us, really knows us, and follows us around our whole lives, faithful and and wanting to know us better. I read this the other day, and found a lot of encouragment in it:<BR/><BR/>Jeremiah 29:11 on it: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" <BR/><BR/>I wont lie and say there arent times when I pray angry. I pray those, "I know your soveriegn, but I'm miserable down here." But I know he hears me, and I know someday, I'll look back and 'get it.' Once again, I hope you arent offended or feel preached at. I HATE when people make me feel that way, and believe me when I say I'm no super-Christian. Frankly, I'm a big mess.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, I'll be thinking of you Terri. I hope that you have a good day today, that solutions will make themselves known. Please let me know if there's anything I can do. <BR/>LizLiz Harrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08085308886362660283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-9606918472488767072008-01-09T09:56:00.000-07:002008-01-09T09:56:00.000-07:00Oh Terri, we have all been to the place you are cu...Oh Terri, we have all been to the place you are currently residing and I know there isn’t anything that one can say to make you feel better. But when I have been there, it has helped for me to simply say to myself that “this too shall pass”. I also find that daily long walks listening to my favorite music helps. I know this is silly and not a solution, but it has been my saving grace at the most difficult times. <BR/><BR/>As far as a solution to the “ick” that life can bring, maybe make a list of what needs to change with action items to do it and do a bit of the list each day. My gut feeling is telling me you should quit your job. Sometimes we have to shut doors for other doors to open (I believe this wholeheartedly). <BR/><BR/>The deepest place of being lost is often when we find our way. <BR/><BR/>You will be in thoughts. Big hugs.<BR/>CalieCalie Duranthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16125909585470266415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-30355476754625174962008-01-09T07:51:00.000-07:002008-01-09T07:51:00.000-07:00I admire your willingness to put out there what ma...I admire your willingness to put out there what many, many people are feeling these days. I know where you are coming from, my trip was similiar. I broke down finally, last May ~ a mini-breakdown if you will. I was forced out of my job and watched it happen, yet was helpless to prevent it although I tried. I was under threat of being disciplined or fired due to being absent for small periods of time from work, because of my son's disabilities. My employer knew but one person had the power ~ and the desire apparently ~ to ruin my life. I started to develop type 2 diabetes, my blood pressure zoomed up and I developed what the specialist says is Fibromyalgia. I have problems sleeping still, I ache all over on some days and get debilitating headaches from the muscles in my neck and shoulders.<BR/><BR/>It is a terrible place to be. It seems forever when you are in it and no end is in sight. Thus begins the transformation within ourselves - that period of self-discovery in our late 30s early 40s where we reassess our lives and decide what the next course of action should be.<BR/><BR/>One year ago today I would NEVER have believed I'd be where I am today. We were living in Alberta, far away from family, stuck in a very difficult existence. I reached a breaking point when I realized that my job was killing me, slowly and bit by bit. I remembered a seminar I'd attended where I learned to say, "what if" instead of "I can't". What if became our mantra last year when hubby looked for work in our new province and underwent 2 months of testing, interviews and flying across the country. I took a big step and left my job. What if, indeed.<BR/><BR/>Life is not perfect and we don't dance through our days. But I'm no longer worried about my health - my blood pressure dropped 80 points, my blood sugars dropped to normal. We now live closer to home and enjoy popping in and out to say hi to family. I am looking for work and after 6 months' of a break, can honestly say I'm looking forward to trying something new and different.<BR/><BR/>I'd love to lose a LOT of weight...and do plan to, slowly. I'm more interested in being a role model for younger people, girls in particular. You don't have to be thin, rich, etc, to be happy. I recognize that I am an overweight, average Jane and I'M content with that now. I want my family around (some of them, anyway), a few good friends...etc.<BR/><BR/>That sad, empty feeling also comes from what society says we should be and what life really is. Your world was shaped and formed before you were even aware of living; I'm talking about the early years. It affects you the rest of your life and some things we learn to live with but cannot ever overcome. Some members of my family tried to kill themselves on xmas day when I was 5 or 6. I remember it well although I didn't know the exact date until 2 years ago. I suddenly understood why xmas has been such an "empty" time for me; unfortunately made worse by my son's disabilities. In fact the last 8 years at xmas have been bad enough that we aren't doing xmas anymore. It is so damaging and stressful....why keep knocking ourselves on the head because it's a society thing? We are now going to work on WHAT WORKS FOR US. I feel such relief.<BR/><BR/>Daydream a little. What if...? What are the possibilities out there? How scary are they?<BR/><BR/>What if...????Patriciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11256567414059449423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-71899741478943868832008-01-09T07:03:00.000-07:002008-01-09T07:03:00.000-07:00We're united in wanting to take it all away...the ...We're united in wanting to take it all away...the distress, the pain, the struggle. <BR/><BR/>Somehow, I have to believe that it is all being worked out for the very best. We can't imagine how when we are in the throes of whatever-it-is, but faith in a better day coming ( and, hopefully, before Glory) sustains us.<BR/><BR/>Thinking of you and standing in awe of the power of your words and the willingness of your heat to write them down.Veehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00618654361869856894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-8175227336841479542008-01-09T03:06:00.000-07:002008-01-09T03:06:00.000-07:00A biggg hug Terri. Well, sometimes, there is nothi...A biggg hug Terri. Well, sometimes, there is nothing you can do but feel all these things you said. No matter what people say, or however much they love you, you feel alone and need to pass through this phase on your own. The key thing to remember is that - It will end...one day, the sun would be bright, and you will want to smell the flowers :-). <BR/><BR/>My personal therapy: I clean. Like Mad. Declutter, rearrange, even clean my laptop folders. <BR/><BR/>On another note: for the pain, have you tried yoga? I am myself not a regular yoga person, but I have seen so many close family and friends benefit from very simple yoga breathing techniques. Google for "Pranayam" and see if you want to try it out...It is also extremely good for relaxtion of mind.<BR/><BR/>HugBhavna Bhatnagarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10560024561258953678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-72016364794428651892008-01-08T23:53:00.000-07:002008-01-08T23:53:00.000-07:00Oh wow Terri, how I wish I was there to hug you in...Oh wow Terri, how I wish I was there to hug you in person. You tell your story so well, even if it is heartbreaking at times. You have such clarity, although you may not see that at the moment.<BR/><BR/>I feel your pain but at the same time, there are some little glimmers of hopefulness in your words as well. It sounds as though you already know the answers to some of the matters that are causing you sadness. Now it is a matter of taking action. Not easy to do, I know. <BR/><BR/>The one thing I have gone through is serious sleep deprivation and it just made me see everthing in a cloud of sadness. I can't imagine what sleepless nights combined with cronic pain must be like. <BR/><BR/>Be gentle on yourself Terri. You are truly an amazingly beautiful person...inside and out.nimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05404321801705283343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-14393909841161320732008-01-08T22:54:00.000-07:002008-01-08T22:54:00.000-07:00There are always plenty of other jobs Terri.... qu...There are always plenty of other jobs Terri.... quit; go home. Severance or holiday pay should carry you for two weeks and David can handle things for the other two. If he can't or won't...get a get a line of credit if you have to. It's not the end of the world. It seems to me that your sanity demands it. <BR/><BR/>Come back feeling refreshed and happy that you went. Your Mom will not always be around... now is the time to go. Find a job you love. This is Calgary... there is so much work here right now you should be able to have your pick of jobs. <BR/><BR/>You have so much going for you and are so fortunate in so many ways.... honestly, you need to find a way to be happy and to stop beating yourself up because you are not what YOU perceive perfect to be. Sometimes it is as simple as being happy you are not one of the kids at the Children's Hospital ......... <BR/><BR/>I bet if you were less hard on yourself... had a different job.... you could alleviate plenty of stress; muscles might relax a bit...and there will be less headaches. <BR/><BR/>Just my two cents worth.... when anybody puts a problem out there...I toss out some of my thoughts on how to fix things. I am more like a guy than a gal in that respect... I never feel the need to just commiserate.... lol...BumbleVeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13272892605379537233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-73126193590281279362008-01-08T22:42:00.000-07:002008-01-08T22:42:00.000-07:00Oh, Terri, my heart breaks to read this. I can rea...Oh, Terri, my heart breaks to read this. I can really feel your pain. Physical & emotional pain can cloud your vision and make you feel like nothing is right in the world. You sound a lot like my husband, he tends to feel much like you do at times. And here I am little miss walk in the sunshine thinking warm fuzzy thoughts to stay out of the rain, I think I drive him nuts. I've missed you around my place, so perhaps I drive you nuts too! But it sounds like not much IS right in your world, it isn't just emotional or physical pain. It is real understandable unhappiness. While I tend to be a positive can-do kind of person, I do tend to worry and fret and be a perfectionist, and I have been prone to anxiety. I understand a bit of how you feel. I've had times where I wanted to get off the merry-go-round of life just to collect myself and try again. But, life just keeps spinning and spinning. All of what you said is true. You are such a smart lady, you really are! The thing that keeps me "unstuck" strong and steadfast in spite of life's pain and difficulties is a faith in God. Even when everything else falters and falls apart around me, He is the one thing that remains just as He says. I know this is not PC to say, but as I see it, Oprah and The Secret try to repackage God. The world would be a lot better off finding out who God really is and what He says about life instead of relying on Oprah to misguide them into what Oprah wants you to think life is about. <BR/>OK, enough from me. I talk too much, I know. Just wanted you to know that my heart sunk to hear of your slump. I am sending a big hug your way. I admire so much about you. You are asking all the right questions my dear. That in itself is half the battle to finding true meaning and purpose in life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25102529.post-15546404567371592062008-01-08T21:40:00.000-07:002008-01-08T21:40:00.000-07:00wow...that is such an intense outpouring. i hope ...wow...that is such an intense outpouring. i hope you can either find happiness in your job, or save enough money to quit. a year ago i knew i had to quit my job. now I make less than half what i used to but i am happier and it is a life that is more free and authentic. i really feel your pain and i wish you could go be with your mom. what is more important? your job, or her? the problem is always money, but you can find ways to need less. <BR/><BR/>i'm sorry this is so long but i read your post and it really touched me.<BR/><BR/>i love your style and how you've decorated. i too have a collection of smooth stones in my window.paulahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15754613242720297002noreply@blogger.com